1. When they say “bikini incision” ask them whose bikini they’re talking about….
  2. Expect your lovely stretch marks battle scars to become poochy, puffy blobs after above referred bikini incision.
  3. When they say don’t lift over 20 lbs, don’t think that if you try to lift your 26 lb two year old “lightly” that you can get away with it, YOU CAN’T.
  4. Even though they mean well, keep the 35 and 85 lb lap dogs out of the room. They simply cannot curl up in your lap.
  5. You can however let your kitties lay on every body part that you have, except that incision.
  6. Keep the Percocet coming.
  7. After #6, don’t try to navigate the hallways around said kitties.
  8. Keep your Tivo well stocked with movies and Monk, it makes the days go by faster, between naps that is.
  9. Take plenty of naps.
  10. If you use 5 pillows and recline way back, you can still use the laptop for short periods.
  11. A straw is a handy tool.
  12. Motrin 600mg shouldn’t be knocked either…
  13. One week post-surgery, I’m still surviving. Since they couldn’t do it the “easy” way and had to do the “cut”, looks like I’ll be living by these tips for another 3-4 weeks at least instead of the 2-3 that were expected. Those tv shows need to come off of Christmas break!

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