13 Ways to Survive Going Back to Work and Sitting Through All-Day Meetings After a Year of Sabbatical…

  1. Start the day with a Venti Caffe Vanilla Frappucino with Whip!
  2. Make sure you’ve worn pants for the constant crossing and un-crossing of legs you’ll have to do to stay awake.
  3. Bring a legal pad to the meeting, you’ll look smart like you’re taking notes, but you can doodle away.
  4. Smile… often… they just think you’re happy, in truth you’re thinking of your bed.
  5. Don’t think about your cats, who are probably at this very moment leaving you a present on your pillow because you didn’t stay home to snuggle with them like you have for the last 16 months.
  6. Don’t think about your pillow.
  7. Right about now it’s snack time… get a Coke since that Venti is drained.
  8. Replenish your pen supply, preferably with a highlighter or two, for better doodling action.
  9. Pull out pictures of your kids, to distract the principal for a bit, since everyone is falling asleep. Everyone enjoys looking at some cute kids. While you’re at it, show ’em the pic of your cat on your cell phone wall paper, might as well let them know now that you’re the crazy cat lady.
  10. Lunch time, choose carefully… nutrition or nap??? If you do choose the latter make sure someone is picking you up some form of caffeine at the former.
  11. Check your gmail on your cell phone, just to see if anyone has gotten any more of your iPod meme responses.
  12. Finish out the meeting by inserting as much humor as possible. No one has to know that you’re punch-drunk.
  13. Celebrate when it’s time to go home to your cats who will then ignore you for a good 30 minutes because you deserted them and your kids who didn’t even notice that you started work.

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